Paving It Forward

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Personal Excellence www.LeaderExcel.com Personal Excellence The Magazine of Personal Leadership September 2009 c Personal Excellence is the only reading you 9ll need to do for continual self-improvement both personally and professionally! d 4Sharlene Hawkes, Former Miss America, award-winning ESPN broadcaster Your Brain Power Your Brain Power Nathaniel Branden Consultant Self-Esteem Realize Your Potential Self-Esteem Realize Your Potential Paving It Forward Paving It Forward The higher your self-esteem, the more ambitious you tend to be, not necessari- ly in a career or financial sense, but in terms of what you hope to experience in life 4emotionally, creatively, spiritually. The lower your self-esteem, the less you aspire to, and the less you are likely to achieve. Either path tends to be self- reinforcing and self-perpetuating.

The higher your self-esteem, the more disposed you are to form nourishing re- lationships 4since like is drawn to like, health is attracted to healthand vitality. You tend to feel most comfortable, most cat home, d with persons whose self-esteem level resembles your own. High self-esteem individuals tend to be drawn to high self-esteem individuals.

Low self-esteem seeks low self-esteem in others. The most disastrous relation- ships are those between two persons both of whom think poorly of themselves. ... more. less.

The higher your self-esteem, the more inclined you are to treat others with respect, benevolence, good will, and fairness 4since you do not tend to perceive them as a threat, and since self- respect facilitates respect for others. Two Interrelated Aspects Self-esteem has two interrelated aspects: a sense of personal efficacy (self-efficacy) and a sense of personal worth (self-respect). As a fully realized psychological experience, it is the inte- grated sum of these two aspects. " Self-efficacy means confidence in your ability to think, judge, choose, decide, and know the facts of reality that fall within your interests and needs; cognitive self-trust and self-reliance. " Self-respect means assurance of your value 4an affirmative attitude toward your right to live and to be happy; com- fort in appropriately asserting your thoughts, wants, and needs; the feeling that joy is your natural birthright. Self-efficacy and self-respect are the pillars of healthy self-esteem; absent either one, self-esteem is impaired. Self- efficacy generates the sense of having control over your life 4not being a pas- sive spectator and a victim of events. Self-respect enables a benevolent, non- neurotic sense of community with other individuals, the fellowship of indepen- dence and mutual regard 4not alienated estrangement or mindless submergence . Self-esteem is the disposition to experience yourself as competent to cope with the challenges of life and as deserving of happiness. PE Nathaniel Branden is the author of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem . Visit www.NathanielBranden.com. ACTION: Cultivate your self-esteem. Personal Excellencewww.LeaderExcel.com1 EMOTIONAL " SELF-ESTEEM achieve and allows us to take pleasure and pride in our achievements, to experience satisfaction. Ahealthy sense of self-value is not all you need to assure happiness and success. Its pres- ence does not guarantee fulfillment; but its lack guarantees some measure of anxiety, frustration, and despair. Self-esteem proclaims itself as a need by virtue of the fact that its relative absence impairs our ability to function. Today self-esteem is both a psycho- logical need and economic need 4the attribute imperative for adaptiveness to a complex, challengingworld that demands a greater capacity for inno- vation, self-management, personal responsibility, and self-direction. Today, we need not only a higher level of knowledge and skill, but also a higher level of personal autonomy, self- reliance, self-trust, and initiative. In a world of many choices, options, and possibilities, you need higher per- sonal autonomy 4a need to exercise independent judgment, to cultivate your own resources, and to take responsibili- ty for the choices, values, and actions that shape your life; a need for self- trust, self-reliance, and a reality-based belief in yourself. The more choices and decisions you need to make, the more urgent your need for self-esteem. Self-Esteem Bolsters Confidence To the extent that you 9re confident in the efficacy of your mind 4confident of your ability to think, learn, understand 4you tend to persevere when faced with difficult or complex challenges. Persevering, you tend to succeed more, thus reinforcing your sense of efficacy. With high self-esteem, you seek the stimulation of demanding goals; and reaching goals nurtures your self-esteem. With low self-esteem, you seek the safety of the familiar and undemand- ing, thus weakening your self-esteem. The higher your self-esteem, the bet- ter able you are to cope with adversity in your career or personal life; the faster you can pick yourself up after a fall; the more energy you have to begin anew. by Nathaniel Branden T HEKEYTOHUMANMOTI - vation is self-esteem. By self-esteem I mean much more than that innate sense of self- worth that presumably is our human birthright 4that spark that we seek to fan in others. Self-esteem is the experi- ence that we are appropriate to life and to the requirements of life. Self-esteem is confidence in our ability to think, to cope with the challenges of life, and in our right to be happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving, entitled to respect our needs and wants and to enjoy the fruits of our efforts. Self-esteem is not a free gift that you need only claim: its possession over time represents an achievement. Self- esteem is a basic need 4indispensable to normal and healthy development. Lacking positive self-esteem, your psy- chological growth is stunted. Positive self-esteem operates as the immune system of consciousness, providing resistance, strength, and capacity for regeneration. When self-esteem is low, your resilience in the face of adversities is diminished. You crumble before vicissitudes that a healthier sense of self could vanquish. You tend to be more influenced by the desire to avoid pain than to experience joy; negatives have more power over you than positives. If you don 9t believe in yourself 4neither in your efficacy nor in your goodness 4 the universe is a frightening place. This does not mean that we are inca- pable of achieving any real value. Some of us may have the talent and drive to achieve a great deal, in spite of a poor self-concept 4like the highly produc- tive workaholic who is driven to prove his worth to, say, a father who predict- ed he would amount to nothing. But we will be less effective 4less cre- ative 4than we have the power to be; and we will be crippled in our ability to find joy in our achievements. Nothing we do will ever feel like cenough. d If we have a realistic confidence in our mind and value, if we feel secure within ourselves, we tend to experience the world as open to us and to respond appropriately to challenges and oppor- tunities. Self-esteem empowers, ener- gizes, motivates. It inspires us to Self-Esteem Seek now to cultivate it.

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